The Fonzie Scheme ran from April until May of 2009, below are selected outakes from the e-mails that were sent out to investors:

Week 2:

Eyyyyyy Bobarinos!

Welcome the week two Fonzie Scheme Update!

I’m going to make this quick, as I have a car to jump over on my motorcycle, but first I just wanted to let you know that after only a few weeks you are already 10 percent cooler!
“That’s all fine and good,” you say, “but what does that mean, Fonzie?”
Eyyyy! Lemme tell you!

1) Milwaukee, officially loves you, see?

This is your bib! This is why you’re hot!
Also:

If you went back in time, you would be really close to getting into Studio 54
Ok, one more thing, to really help you right now….
Are you ready,
I. The great Fonzie. Am going to teach you how to land a date.

Alright bobarinos! I’ll catch you later!
Eyyyyyy!

The Final Fonzie Scheme Bulletin:

Dear Bobarinos!

I have some terrible news!
I’m going to make this quick, as I have a jukebox to fix, but first I need to let you know that you are not actually any cooler!
Your Investment has jumped the shark!
“But what does that mean, Fonzie?”
Eyyyy! Lemme tell you!

See, you can’t just get cool by wasting time on the internet. Lemme tell you a story:
As you know, my Dad left me when I was young, his only advise being “don’t wear socks in the rain.” He also left me a single gift:
A locked box
With no key!
I tried everything I could to pry it open, finally crushing it underneath the weight of my Harley Tricycle.
And do you know what was in the box!?!?!?!

the key!

That is the secret to infinite, everlasting coolness!
But that’s not all I’m going to leave you with:

I. The great Fonzie. Am going to teach you self defense!
Alright bobarinos! I’ll catch you later!
Eyyyyyy!